Txt Spk

OMG WTF! Dis is so gr8. Y do we not all spk lyk dis all the tym?

The reason is simple, my friend, it makes you look like a moron. (That sentence nearly read ‘the reason is, my simple friend,…’. It would have still worked.)

Once upon a time this type of ‘text speak’ had a place. Sending a text message was new and shiny; the networks latched onto this and made sure to charge us as much as they possibly could to do so. The best way to get value for money was to make sure you got everything you wanted to say into one message. One text message consisted of no more than 144 characters so the only way to do this was to invent abbreviations and acronyms and lose as much punctuation as possible. Also, we all had phones that only had numerical keypads and to type out a word required multiple presses of keys, so anything shorter was immediately better.

Those that have grown up in the age of the mobile phone learnt this text speak early on and became proficient at it. They thought nothing of using l8r instead of later. A simple LOL took the place of very funny even though the likelihood of them having actually Laughed Out Loud was very remote (in my opinion SG would have been more accurate - Slight Grin). Even more remote is the chance that anyone in the history of text speak ever ROFL (Rolled On the Floor Laughing), but it became the way of things. These people took this new language and started to use it everywhere.

I have a problem with this, and it’s not just that it takes me three times as long to decipher the meaning of these ‘words’ as it would if it was written in plain English.

I have nothing to add. I applaud you, madam, and everything your strange half-body stands for.

Let’s put aside the fact that nowadays pretty much everybody gets thousands of free text messages as part of their bundle, so have no financial need to abbreviate every single word. Let’s also ignore that the majority of people now have smartphones that provide a full QWERTY keyboard for your typing pleasure. We won’t even mention that predictive text and spell checks are so advanced that you can even insert an umlaut* where the sun doesn’t shine with barely a pause for breath.

Emails and letters are not a place for this new language. There is no instance where you would be charged extra for a longer email; it’s free. Letters tend to be written by hand or on a computer where you are not expected to only use a numerical keypad to get to all of the characters you need. These are, for the most part, formal methods of communication and should be treated as such. There is no room here for ‘where R U’. Especially without the required question mark. I cannot stress this enough, grammar and punctuation in these forms of communication should not be regarded as optional, unless between very good acquaintances. If you use text speak anywhere other than text messages you should not be surprised if you fail to get that job interview, secure that bank loan or hold the respect of any of your colleagues.

Don’t get me wrong, I will occasionally throw a WTF into a text or email, but either as an ironic statement or to express the sentiment without having to offend anyone with the actual profanity. Likewise, OMG can sometimes be used to good effect. But these are rare occurrences that are only to people that know me very well. I still insist on the correct use of spelling, grammar and punctuation in every form of communication, even text messages - it leaves no doubt as to the meaning of anything and is very easy to read. I urge you to do the same.

But, just in case you disagree and wish to use more abbreviations I’ll leave you with these new ones that I hope take hold:

CTWSG - Cheeky Titter With Sidelong Glance

GG - Golly Gosh

WWBD - What Would Batman Do?

YLRY - You Little Rascal, You

A$$WYPE - Actually, Scientifically Speaking, What You Preach is Erroneous

C U nxt wk

*a pair of dots over a vowel, as used in various other languages (e.g., Ü).

Latin you use all the time but may not understand

Yep, you read right, this post is about latin. 

No, don’t run away, I’m not about to become all school-masterly here (you can take those fetishes elsewhere), this is just a quick overview of a few of those latin terms and abbreviations that we tend to use all the time. The point is to explain what they mean and when they should be used so that you can feel all superior and knowledgeable when someone else gets it wrong.

If I teach you grammar, then get it wrong, will you comment just to tell me off...?

etc. 

One of the most widely used latin terms, this is short for et cetera, translated as ‘and others’. This should be used at the end of a shortened list to indicate that there could be other additional elements in it. This should not be used if you have already listed all of the possible items as it is then redundant.

e.g.

This term is often confused with i.e. (explained below). They have two distinct roles and hopefully this will help to show what they are. e.g. is an abbreviation of exempli gratia, which translates as ‘for example’. This is where you are wanting to give examples of something, but is intended to indicate a partial list of those items. As below:

The members of The Beatles (e.g., John Lennon, Paul McCartney) are very famous.

We know there are other items that could go in the list, but we have given a smaller number of examples. This is also a situation where etc. could be used:

The members of The Beatles (e.g., John Lennon, Paul McCartney, etc.) are very famous.

i.e.

Short for id est, this term is translated as simply ‘that is’. It is used where a full list is used or a direct equivalent is described. It can also be thought of as an ‘=‘ symbol. As below:

The members of The Beatles (i.e., John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr) are very famous.

With this usage it should be possible to swap the equivalent terms and still have the sentence make sense:

John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr (i.e., the members of The Beatles) are very famous.

The following would be incorrect:

The members of The Beatles (i.e., John Lennon, Paul McCartney) are very famous.

The members of The Beatles (e.g., John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr) are very famous.

The first sentence implies that John Lennon and Paul McCartney were all of the members of The Beatles, which is wrong. The second sentence gives the impression that the four members listed are only an example, so there must be more, which is also wrong.

N.B.

This is the only one of the latin abbreviations that should be capitalised. It is short for nota bene, translated as ‘note well’, but should be taken to mean ‘PAY ATTENTION’. It is used to indicate that the following statement is important and should be taken as a key bit of information, even if it is not deemed important enough to be in the main body of the text.

circa or (c.)

This term means ‘around’ or ‘approximately’. It is used with figures and is meant to give a rough guide to the value, not an exact value.

The Great Pyramid of Giza was built circa 2540 - 2560 BC.

…would be correct.

The Great Pyramid of Giza was built circa 14th June 2543 BC, at 4.25 in the afternoon, just after a lovely game of cricket.

…would not.

sic or [sic]

This is short for sic erat scriptum and means ‘thus was it written’. This is often found in articles where another source is being quoted and is intended to show that any spelling or grammatical abnormalities in the preceding text are carried over from that source and are not the fault of this author. It is usually contained within square brackets to show that it is not a part of the text (as parentheses are), but simply a declaration of “wasn’t me guv, it was spelled wrong when I got here”. 

So there you have it, you can now say you know some latin. Chances are you’ve been using most of these all the time without even thinking about their origins or what they mean, but hopefully I’ve helped to clarify the correct usage of some or explain the meaning of others.

Don’t worry, posts like this will be few, and far between, but if even one of you suddenly looks up, wide-eyed and goes, “Ahhh, now I understand!”, I’ve done something useful.

See you next week.

sic erat scriptum

Rant: Sorry I'm late, but...

There are two types of people in this world, those that are late and those that are waiting for those that are late.

If you’re wondering which type you are and don’t recall waiting for anyone, I’m afraid that’s because they’re waiting for you. All of them. I fit in to the second category and I’d like to explain why I have a problem with those in the first category. 

I don’t like to be late. In fact, I hate it. When I was at secondary school (high school, big school, etc.) I was never late. Not once in five years. I had a few days off sick here or there over that time, but my record when I left showed a big fat zero next to lateness. I’m proud of that. People knew that if I said that I would be somewhere at a certain time then I was going to be there at that time. Not any more.

There is no perspective in this shot. It really is a giant hand and watch. Honest.

The difference between now and then is that I used to just be responsible for myself. I could make a commitment, work out what time I needed to leave and then ensure that I was ready and left at that time. It’s not just me anymore and I’m assured that it’s not that easy. Clearly I’ve been doing it wrong.

The way I see it, if you tell somebody you will be somewhere at a particular time then you are making a verbal contract with them. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a job interview, a meal out or a random coffee, if you don’t turn up on time then you are showing disrespect to that other person; you’re saying that their time isn’t as important as yours. What right do you have to make them wait for you? They may have had something far more rewarding to do than sit around wondering what time you’re going to turn up.

But this isn’t just about those at the other end, waiting for you to arrive. What about those at this end, waiting to leave? You may not be bothered about stealing the time of those at the other end, but what about the partner that’s been ready for the past half an hour? By making them wait you are also showing them disrespect and saying that their time is not as important as yours. You know when they’re clearly upset and annoyed that you’re running late, but are trying to be civil? That’s the feeling that they start every event with. You may breeze in, laughing and giggling, but they’re struggling to adjust their mood so that they can enjoy themselves. Not much fun.

Time is our most precious commodity. We want to spend it with our friends, relatives and loved ones, or just doing what we want to do, but so does everybody else. By making people wait we are robbing them of that time, and they will never get it back. It’s unfair and it’s rude. If we cannot make the effort to be on time then we should have agreed on another time or just not gone at all.

Here’s a little tip: 

Look at what time you are meant to be somewhere

Work out how long it takes to get there (not the shortest possible time, if you were able to fly)

Take that length of time away from the arrival time and you have your departure time

Work out how long it takes you to get ready (shower, outfit choosing time, outfit swapping time, makeup, shave, admiring yourself in the mirror, cup of tea, hair, admiring yourself in the mirror, outfit swapping time, finding the right bag, choosing the smellies, what shoes, admiring yourself in the mirror, etc.) and ADD IT ALL UP

Add half an hour

Take that length of time away from the departure time and you have your ‘I need to start getting ready’ time

Follow this and you need never be late again. Carry on as you are and you will always be late, saying sorry for your tardiness, most likely with a very annoyed person in tow. Try to be considerate. Show some respect.

Rant over.

Walk this way

We’re all different, all individuals, but I wonder if you've ever taken the time to really think about in how many ways that is true?

Of course, there’s the obvious ones such as face, fingerprints, iris and DNA, and security firms are constantly coming up with new and bizarre ways to tell us apart (ear-print, anyone? I’m sure I read once that that’s a thing), but how many of you realise that your walk is subtly yours too?

The British Karate Kid - if you don't have a bowler hat you're doing it wrong

Think about it, your walk is determined by your weight, the type of clothes and shoes that you wear, your posture, your fitness, your confidence, your height, the length of your legs, the size of your feet and even your clumsiness. There are so many possible variations that how you put them together is most likely unique to you (this post is not based on any scientific data, just my own observations, so don’t be expecting ‘walk scanners’ at airports anytime soon).

Some people move as you would expect them to, but sometimes you’ll get a surprise. Someone that has lost a lot of weight recently will still carry themselves differently to someone that has always been slim. Sometimes the lightest of people will stomp around on their heels, sounding like a fairy elephant and you'll wonder how they manage to make so much noise.

Check out the people in your life and really watch them, you’ll soon see what I mean. You’ll probably notice that most of this you’ve already assimilated and quite possibly use the knowledge of how they walk and how they move on a regular basis. 

If you’re waiting in a crowded place for someone you may think that you’re scanning the crowd and just looking out for that familiar face, but how often do you spot them while they’re facing the other way? A lot of times you will know that it is them even before you’ve seen their face (the back of a head is not a very good identifier) and this could be down to the fact that on an unconscious level you are recognising the way that they move. 

You may have thought in the past that you had some kind of sixth sense, turning towards your partner or loved one when they’re approaching from off to one side, but in all likelihood your peripheral vision picked up a familiar movement and alerted you to it. Sorry, you’re not clairvoyant, you’re just more observant than you thought.

Take from this what you will - it’s just my thoughts and opinions, after all - but personally I don’t think it’s a bad thing to encourage you to take a bit more time to notice the people around you, especially those you love.

Oh, and I take no responsibility for any heated discussions that take place in your life based on the content of my blog. Please be aware, people, that the reading of this post is only sufficient as an excuse to check out members of the opposite sex for about a week. After that, you’re on your own.